Tuesday, December 5, 1967
Afternoon Sesshin Lecture
In previous lecture, I compared zazen practice and usual everyday activity. In usual activity, as you know, our effort is directed to outside, and our activity is concentrated on some particular things. This activity of particularize something create many things. But this kind of creativity is—at the same time creates some fear. This creativity will result some feeling—whether it is good or bad—a good and bad feeling we have—we will have.
Before—before you do—if before the concentration happens to you, your mind is just big and something—your mind is something which you don’t know. You do not have any feeling about yourself. But once you have involved in something or you are concentrated on something, there your mind will crystallize, and you will have some clear idea of yourself—subjectively and objectively. That subjective crystallized self reflect—project itself to the objective world, and you have some clear objects within your mind. There you have various feeling about the object. But as that object is the projected of mind of yourself, that—that you do—if that feeling is good or object is good, you will naturally cling to it. That—when you cling to some object, it means you are clinging to yourself at the same time because that object is the projected self. And if it—that attachment will result you some fear, if it is good. Because you attach to it, you try not [to] lose it. But nothing is permanent. Everything is changing. So even though you cling to it, that object will change even though you know that you have fear of losing it.